6 Weeks on…

Well, here we are 6 weeks on since Jenny died and 5 weeks on since her funeral and life seems to be running at a fast pace (certainly faster than it had been in Germany). It’s taken me a while to get around to writing on the blog again for many reasons – time, motivation and desire to name a few – but here I am feeling like I want to let everyone know what has been happening and that I’m ok!

Where do I start? Not long after the funeral Gemma & I (plus all 3 dogs) travelled down to Essex to stay with the Mackenzie Triplets (Amber had attended Jen’s funeral whilst Fiona & Ellie were in Germany) with the added bonus of seeing Lisa, who was also staying with them before returning to Australia. We had a great time catching up, walking the dogs and eating great home cooked food – drop scones to die for and eggs benedict fit for a king!

Later that week Gemma suggested we got away for a few days to Portugal to visit friends near Tavira on the Algarve – so we did. We had a great time basically doing nothing other than eating and drinking, something Gemma and I could both easily do for a living. It was great fun and a much-needed break – many thanks to Marie & Ray for looking after us. When we returned to the UK, Gemma went back to work whilst I chose to take some further time off (probably until the end of April) which seems to have been the right decision as I don’t seem to have any time to work! I have attended a few conferences over the last couple of weeks which have re-ignited a spark for returning to work and I can feel that when I do, it will be with 100% commitment, but only if I’ve had enough time off which is why I’m not in a rush to get back just yet.

I also travelled South, with my parents, to Wiltshire to visit my brother Glyn & his wife Georgina just before he was deployed to Afghanistan for a third time.  He serves as an RAF Regiment officer who this time around has a secondment to the Army for this 6 month tour. It proved to be quality family time and we all hope the next 6 months goes quite quickly and without incident.

I also had a surprise visit from Ellie who was passing through the North West and called in to say hello and to deliver an amazing bunch of flowers for Gemma’s birthday. It was great to see her, even if she was late for her evening rendezvous, and Gemma and I are hoping to visit her in Buxton this Friday for a cocktail or two!

Ellie & Andy Gemma's Flowers

I have a few plans in the next few weeks which include catching up with a lot of people, seeing Cirque du Soleil in Manchester (courtesy of Cathy & Gemma), visiting Belgium, going to Majorca to watch a 70.3 Ironman race, attending a wedding and a planned trip to see a fair few “clinic friends” in Australia sometime around July – plus much more – I just hope I will fit the time in to return to work! Last weekend Gemma & I decided to spontaneously return to Bad Salzhausen for a couple of days to catch up with many of our friends and this proved to be an amazing 36 hours, so much so that it warrants a post of its own…so watch this space.

In summary everything doesn’t seem too bad at the moment with the odd wobble creeping in now and again. I visit Jen’s grave once or twice a week and we are in the process of ordering the headstone and finalising all the legalities etc surrounding her estate. I think people are expecting me to crack at some point, but it doesn’t feel like that at my end – maybe they’ll be proven right in the future? What might be difficult for some people to understand is that, as mentioned in my eulogy, the ultimate outcome of Jen’s illness was something I had been preparing myself for over a relatively long period of time, and whilst you can never be fully prepared, the previous preparations in my mind have gone a long way towards helping me with the grieving process. Everyone is different, but I’m a realist and knew some time ago that Jenny’s death was a very real possibility, and during our time in Germany it became apparent, certainly in the latter part of our stay, that it was a question of when, not if.

The way everything unfolded in the final 2 months of her life, including the people we met, the experiences we shared and the environment we were in, provided us both with a very positive and thought-provoking experience – one I wouldn’t have thought possible under the circumstances, but one I took an amazing amount of comfort from over the last few weeks. What I will say is that these last few weeks have been easier because of the people around me – some very special people indeed (you know who you are) and I certainly couldn’t have done this without everyone’s support over the last 6 months.

Where do we go from here? I suppose all I can say is watch this space…

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    • Skye – I love the flower – so beautiful in black and white, so rich in detail even without colour. I love how it creeps into focus and softly back out again. And the little boy is darling too

    • I would love to win to help my organize my daily tasks, Kids schedules, Sporting activities, Dr. appt.’s and to have it when I’am on the go traveling so I can keep in touch with all the internet has to offer.

    • Fint sjal, Tove (eg har minsta punktummet mitt) Eg heller klarer ikkje Ã¥ sitte pÃ¥ i bil uten Ã¥ strikke og det synest Petrinemannen er greit for da er vi berre ein sjÃ¥før¨Ha ein fin onsdag

    • thank god they’ve remained something beyond the pidgeonholing sleepy walls of definition. As I lived across the pond, my first impressions of them came with DubHousing, just later getting in hindsight touch with the modern dance.. anyway, it was mental revolution all the same. America’s anti-pre-post-modern most well hidden secret for the world to discover

    • Alhamdulilah terima kasih, atas motivasi ini. Insya Allah saya akan menjadi lebih baik dengan semangat baik dan pertolongan Allah SWT. Semoga Allah SWT mengabulkan dan meridhoiNya, Amin.

    • David Lopata18.8.2012Najmout minibus, ve kterém by poslanci mandátového a imunitnícho výboru zajeli vyslechnoutsi si Rátha přímo do Litoměřické vÄ›znice (jeÅ¡tÄ› rozumnÄ›jší by bylo použít hromadnou dopravu nebo auta, na něž se vztahují poslanecké výhody), by daňové poplatníky pravdÄ›podobnÄ› pÅ™iÅ¡lo asi o dost levnÄ›ji, než pořádat speciálnÄ› zebezpečenou videokonferencí. Pokud neustále slyšíme o nutnosti úsporného nakládání s veÅ™ejnými financemi, mají jít poslanci příkladem.

    • Oct10 I think other web-site proprietors should take this website as an model, very clean and great user genial style and design, let alone the content. You are an expert in this topic!

    • non ricordo che ci fosse, comunque l’ultima volta che ho cambiato la colonnina di destra era prima del tuo intervento – comunque, sbriciolo l’ironia: sono tutte palle. ok? ciao ciao.

    • Estou de acordo consigo MC , e depois os anónimos podem ter todas as certezas do mundo e é por isso que mordem a eles próprios. doutro modo não seriam detentores da “verdade universal”

    • Pas grand chose à dire sur ca à part citer Marc Boilard « Arrêtez de vous fiez à vos oreilles…Un homme se définit par ses actions, pas ses paroles… » Et dans le cas présent…C’était TRÈS clair !

    • Pues a mi lo que no me sale nunca bien del todo es el arroz con leche, o me queda muy denso con poco caldo, o me queda poco azucarado, o lo que sea… ¡no le pillo el punto! Hoy precisamente lo he hecho jajajajDe todas formas tu membrillo tiene buena pinta, se unta en las tostadas ¡y ya está!Un saludo

    • That is such a fantastic resource that you simply are providing and also you give it away for free. I love seeing web-sites that understand the value of providing a high quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine. Did you acquired numerous links and also I see lots of trackbacks??

    • 205 129eJune 28, 2012 3e 6e ceIt’s enjoyable and thrilling to order free samples without surveys. You get to try new products, and additionally you also get to avoid wasting money. 172

    • Comme quoi cette émission a du bon : on y découvre ses blogueurs favoris en live, ce qui est bien plus réjouissant que l’aspect “compétition”!. A dans 20 minutes donc! l’enregistrement est programmé (comme ça les bonnes idées resteront!)

    • Gospod moj Bog,hvala ti za vse,za kar se Ti Å¡e nisem zahvalila.Hvala,ker sem sliÅ¡ala za Blaženo Chiaro Luce Badano.(1971)Sem posluÅ¡ala njene posnetke in so se me dotaknili.Kako je to lepo,…vera,veselje,korajža…iz nje kar žarijo,je bilasrečna,kljub hudim bolečina,umiranju.Kako je to lepo imeti tako močno vero! Ljubi moj Bog,te prosim,da bi imela vsaj delček njene svetlobev sebi za vedno….Hvala.

    • 20 POMERANIANS!!!!!! Jesus Christ! I love dogs don’t get me wrong but 20 little fluffballs running around…wow, you must have your hands full 😛

    • That’s an excellent question! So, there is a long story that both George and I were convinced we had already posted, but is now slated for the future, that explains the genesis of Rule #2. Basically what it boils down to is “Fuck off, George!”, but can be shortened to “Fuck off!” so it can be used in any situation.

    • This looks fantastic Sara! I think this salsa would go great on chicken as well, right? (I don’t eat pork!)I like that you grilled everything. I’m not a huge fan of raw onion, just too sharp. And yes, grilled lettuce is quite the experience 🙂

    • Great pictures on the sidebar of your home. I have a few but they are so small, can you share how you did it and what size they are? The size is perfect. Thanks Londen

    • Thank you for doing what you do! Since I discoverd your pictures, it makes a difference when I look into the mirror each day. And I rediscovered "war paint"…

    • Cari tutti,non so se salverete l’ambiente oppure il portafoglio (meglio se entrambe le cose, ma sembra che in Italia ecologia sia il contrario di economia: vedete il caso del biodiesel), ma se lo vengono a sapere in Xerox, per lo meno vi fanno un forte sconto sull’acquisto, per questa interessante campagna promozionale ‘gratuita’. Un abbraccio

    • that the above rationale effectively hands victory to Islamic powers, either terrorist or state actors, without a missile fired. Correct. But it rests on the proposition that our response will be proportionate. If we made clear that any nuclear attack on a Western state will unleash an overwhelming attack, leading to total and complete annihilation, then MAD starts to work again. The principle of deterrence here is that to deter insane actors, we have to give a very believable appearance of being even more unbalanced.I think I will now go and have a nice ale.

    • Tapez votre commentaire Vous pouvez utiliser ces mots-clés HTML : <a> <abbr> <acronym> <b> <blockquote> <cite> <code> <del> <em> <i> <q> <strike> <strong> Notifiez-moi des commentaires à venir via émail. Vous pouvez aussi sans commenter.

    • Ach ja, fast vergessen als Punkt 8: Windows möglichst nicht mit Adminstratorrechten nutzen, sondern einen normalen User für den Normalbetrieb anlegen. Allerdings muss ich gestehen, dass ich diesen Punkt selbst noch nicht umsetze, da es mit W2000 und wohl auch noch mit XP nicht so funktioniert, wie ich es mir wünschen würde (muss ja ständig Software installieren etc.). Bei Windows 7 sollte es allerdings besser gehen und Standard sein.

    • Hey there! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share. Thank you!

    • You should have posted this article on July 4.I'm afraid it's already getting trite to point out that Obama makes George III look positively beneficent and law-abiding.

    • Once I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get four emails with the identical comment. Is there any manner you possibly can remove me from that service? Thanks!

    • SOLO HD casing is pure graphic design, an enclosed design SOLO HD Headphones can be learned through this picture and frosted appearance, feel and taste, and not prone to scratches.

    • you guys are unbeleivable. WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE OF A CRIME???????????killing a citizen without PROCESS is ILLEGAL. what happened to extradition?Wait untill they start assasinating WHITE AMERICANS on American soil for crimes that are SECRET.checks and balances in our govt are GONE. This country is an embarrassment and stands for the OPPOSITE of freedom. if our leaders will not follow the laws, than how can we?VA:F [1.9.18_1163](from 13 votes)

    • I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I am quite certain I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

    • My friend tried the same trick in London. 6 guys turned up in balaclavas and an insulated refrigeration truck, pulled his garden wall down, blew kisses at the camera, clipped the chain and threw his new R6 in the truck. Due to the insulation Tracker did not pick up an reception and the machine has not been seen again.

    • I actually just had some oyster crackers, but I could try some of your suggestions next time. The cocoa powder seems like a good suggestion.

    • La verdad es que parece un sitio muy interesante, me lo apunto para futuros viajes, aprovecha Fabian de europa, que luego te vas a hartar de aventura Tu voto: 0  0

    • Chère Julie,Ce n’étaient que des notables qui scrib ouillaient, pardi ! on n’a que dalle !Cocorico ! tri-co-lore !j’va m’rouler un pétard

    • Oct10 I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I’m hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own site now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a good example of it.

    • salih kocatepeon Hocam ben asp programcısıyım, php ye merak sardım.Senin verdiÄŸin dosyaları indirdim videosearch içindeki key bölümüne youtube id numaramı yazdım,fakat arama yapınca hiç birÅŸey olmuyor görüntülenmiyor.Bir de index.php içindeki <input type="text" name="q" value="”/>bu yazım doÄŸrumu çünkü çalıştırdığımda arama kutusundabu görünüyor burada yanlış biÅŸey yokmu.

    • well clearly. What I meant was, you wouldn’t be able to make a list based on purchasers due to the fact that some people actually BOUGHT the book before choosing to be outraged over it. Which, I suppose, is logical in a crazy sort of way. But like any good week day twitter mob, all it took was a few tweets from a well known blogger. Is the book awful? WELL DUH. But to demand it be removed? A pointless request in the grand scheme of things, in my opinion. That solves absolutely NOTHING when it comes to the evilness of pedophilia.

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    • C'est bizarre, mon commentaire n'est pas passé ! Je disais que j'avais comme toi acheté le ELLE UK, déniché des trucs aux brocantes et flashé sur cette marque de lunettes qu'on voit partout dans la presse en ce moment.Bref, un commentaire des plus passionnants!

    • they would absolutely need to keep a backwards-compatible version for the foreseeable future. there is so much code out there, not just on websites but on server software too, that would need to be changed. I agree with matt, though think they might as well call it another language with a different extension (instead of .php) too not to confuse things.

  17. Gail

    Think of you all often x So glad your keeping your faith x its what Jen would have wanted for you all XXX

  18. Jill hamiltn

    😉 xxx

  19. Georgina

    Andy and Gemma,

    Is so lovely reading the blog. I am glad your trip back to Germany was the right one and that you managed to meet up again with so many of your friends that you have made. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you all, and quite often find myself ‘chatting’ to Jenny, I hope she approves of my recent bag purchase!!

    Gemma, I hope your new job is ok and I once again want to extend the offer of B and B down at Roberts Towers (Dogs welcome too). We could even squeeze a visit to Stonehenge in too if you like.

    I/We are very proud to be part of the family and just wished we were closer.

    All my love me xx

  20. Rebecca

    Mate, you are amazing. It’s so lovely to hear what you’re up to and what your plans are. Really pleased, as well, that you’re giving yourself plenty of time before throwing yourself back into work.
    Keep blogging when you can. It always was and is inspiring and uplifting.

    xxxx

  21. June

    Andy and Gemma,
    Thanks for the blog and staying in touch, much appreciated. Have thought of you all a great deal since Jenny’s passing. It did not hit me until after I arrived in Australia at our Lynn’s a few days after Jenny’s funeral, my sadness was very apparent…my sister listened to me as i needed to tell her about a truely amazing story of warrior princess Jenny and her fight to stay vital to the end…you were her Rock Andrew and I feel so proud to know. Gemma, it seems unreal to think that your sister is no more in the real sense but the memories that you have will be with you forever after all Jen was “our kid” to you…Jen was so proud of both you and Andy, she was truely an amazing person. Andy you will always be able to dip into your “treasure trove” of special memories and the great time you both shared…what can I say except “you are the best better than all the rest”…and yes you will come through this “your way” in your time !
    you will return to work with commitment because that’s the type of person you are.
    Gemma good luck in your new job….regards to Cath and all your family, take care….

    june ron and co….xxxxxx

  22. Lesley Furey

    Andy

    lovely to read your blog I am so glad you are traveling and not back at work yet. I think of you and Gemma often. Jenny would I’m sure be so proud of you both. Look forward to your next blog and reading about your trip back to Germany

    Take care

    Lesley

  23. Iain and Emma

    Hi Andy,

    Good to see you blogging again!

    Emma and I will be back up in Liverpool next Wednesday
    And this will be probably the last night I’ll be back
    In Liverpool for quite sometime and would love to
    Meet for that drink!

    Speak soon

    All our love and thoughts

    Us!

  24. Laura Oakley

    Andy & Gemma
    Brilliant to hear from you. I look out for the blog everytime i check my emails. Its so habit forming, Glad you both keeping busy. Good luck in your new job Gemma, if it all gets to much you can always stop ‘dicking and f@c4in around’ and bugger off to Australia ? Keeping busy is good but keeping it real is better, especially i the sunshine on a beach somewhere.
    Big hugs
    Laura Oakley XX

  25. Claire Standish

    Andy, so glad you’re doing well…and really lovely to listen to what you’ve been up to over the last few weeks. I truly think travelling is one of the best things that you can ever do (you know i lived abroad for a few years); and id say to anyone to go out there and see everything possible; its great for reflecting, focusing on whats important and just basically taking some chill out time! i think of Jen often and smile at the memories i have, and the lovely girl that she was. We haven’t been over to Liverpool since Jen’s funeral but when we do, we will definitely visit her grave, have a little chat and tell here what a fab husband she has! Take care; you know you’re always welcome here (we cant promise a beautiful sunset or fab beaches haha but we will have an endless beer supply for you and two smiley faces and one ‘naughty little monkey’ waiting to greet you mate!) See you soon xxx

  26. jo and vinny

    Andy, you and gemma are amazing. So glad you are letting others spoil you!
    I had a wee smile before…I’m packing as we move house tomorrow and dragging ny feet a bit today. Jen’s voice came into my head with my favourite saying she gave me…”stop dickin’ and f*kin’ around”!

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