Home Sweet Home

Today was the culmination of 5 days hard work organising and scheduling all sorts of things, whilst trying to make sure everything has been remembered. It all came together this afternoon, things clicked into place and I’m pleased to say Jenny made it home to our house at 4.30pm.

The day started with Gemma, Cathy and I meeting, at our house, with the vicar who will conduct Jenny’s funeral on Wednesday. The meeting, which lasted 90 minutes, was very constructive with the order of service compiled with little fuss as we had thought through our wishes as the week had progressed. Richard is standing in for the normal vicar, who is on holiday next week, and was happy to work with our ideas as well as suggest some things we hadn’t thought about.

We were expecting the coroner’s verdict around 3:30pm which left us little time left in the working day to ensure Jenny would make it home for the weekend, so when I received a call at 1:15pm explaining Jenny had been cleared for burial, it was all systems go as she was expected home around 4-5pm. We walked the dogs and met with the funeral directors before she finally arrived at 4:30pm.

The casket is truly amazing and Gemma and Helen had made a fantastic choice in Germany. Due to its size it proved a tight squeeze but the casket just made it through the rear patio windows (it did require me and my tape measure to make sure things would fit!) The dining room was arranged, with the casket positioned under the large mirror and Jenny was finally checked before I was allowed to see her.

She looks amazing and so beautiful in the dress that Gemma has chosen. The undertakers have done an amazing job and got her make-up just right (they didn’t even have a photo to work from). She looks so peaceful with all the pain and stress finally removed from her face.

How do I feel? This week has all been about organising her arrival home and the arrangements for her funeral and it feels like we have successfully achieved the first of those. There is a huge sense of relief amongst us all that she is now home and I personally have taken great comfort from being in her presence. I fully understand that she has died, but also feel she is here with us and it’s brought a sense of “warmth” back to our house – it now feels like a home again.

My mum and her friend June (a regular contributor to this blog) came around this evening to spend some time with Jenny and us, over a glass of wine and we managed to recreate some of the feeling we had last Saturday night following Jenny’s death when we were sat around chatting in Germany, eating pizza, with Jenny lying in the bed. It’s a very difficult feeling to convey accurately unless you have experienced it before, but it just felt appropriate and comfortable.

This is the first day I’ve felt comfortable blogging in a similar vain to the posts I was writing in Germany and it will be interesting, for both you and me, as to how I feel about communicating my feelings and experiences of the next few days. Time will tell.

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  8. Perelandra Beedles

    Hi Andy
    I am so glad Jenny is back home with you. Thankyou for continuing the blog. At times like these you dont want to intrude and yet Jenny is so much in our thoughts its good to still hear from you. I am so glad to see where you are holding the wake. A place of such happy memories for you both, so fitting. Lovely that the dogs will be there too. Sending you love.
    Pere and Nick

  9. Jill hamiltn

    She looks so beautiful, love you both heaps. Xxx

  10. Emma Rusling

    Andy, I’m so relieved for you that Jenny is back home with you and her family where she belongs. I can’t even put into words how unbelievably amazing I think you are and I know we both will be so glad to see you on Tuesday.

    Love and prayers always to you and Jen’s family…..and Marge and Mabes too of course……xx

    • Tommy and Pam

      We are just absolutely devastasted for the loss of your beautiful wife, partner and friend. Our life has being greatly enriched for having met Jenny and yourself. The time that we shared with you at the clinic was full of fun with plenty of laughter even whilst we were all still fighting our own personal battles. I will always treasure these memories as Jenny and yourself had such a significant impact on our lives which we are truly grateful for. Jenny is a true inspiration and she was blessed to have you by her side throughout her journey fighting this terrible disease. We are still coming to terms with this sad and heart breaking loss of someone so special. All our love to you Andy, Gemma and families
      Tommy and Pam and Karina xxx

  11. June

    Your Beautiful Warrior Princess and the love of your life is home with you…I feel humbled by your courage and indeed privileged to have shared a very precious time with Jenny and you all last evening, even the doggies stayed close to Jen…who will continue to be an inspiration to us all….

  12. Laura Oakley

    Andy and Gemma
    Glad that your beautiful princess is back home with you and that you are able to feel the warmth of her presence. That will echo whenever you look at pictures of her, or see a dress or a bag she would have loved, or a song you shared, or any of those thousands of minutae that are the essence of Jenny. Let these things wash over you and eventually they will give you peace. Initially it will cause that tightening that you battled against for so long now, but it really does get easier, and a happier feeling to accept.
    This blog is amazing, and as so many have said, should eventually be published. A fitting legacy for such a strong, brave, truly inspirational family. Be there for each other as I know you will.
    Love and hugs
    Laura Oakley X X X

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    • Chào Huy Cường. Ứng dụng phần mềm là 1 chuyên ngành học rất hay và tạo nhiều Ä‘am mê đối vá»›i người học. Vá»›i chuyên ngành này, em có thể lập trình phần mềm, quản trị game hay chÆ°Æ¡ng trình nào đó, và làm những công việc nhÆ° áp dụng hiệu quả CNTT vào hoạt Ä‘á»™ng của doanh nghiệp…

    • Lidlund skriver:Saik! “Men lilla gummen”, vi heter SkelleftÃ¥e AIK, SkellefteÃ¥ eller bara helt rent AIK ;)Saik är för jösse namn Bandy frÃ¥n Sandviken!

    • right.so if we don’t have windmill we won’t use any copper? Seems to me that advanced composites are a much better use for oil than burning it, don’t you think? re overblown “risk to wildlife”- Did you watch the video? Indeed, most likely the greater part of wind turbines will eventually be offshore. New wind technology, which I’ll be covering in upcoming vids, will increase turbine efficiency dramatically. Having met with utility executives who are using wind, none of them share your concerns.

    • Gracias Eric!…sólo queda responder a la altura de lo que tú nos das, no hay excusas para no tener éxito, todo depende de mí “la pelota está en mi cancha” así que no paro hasta liberar mi proyecto. Voy por ese iPad!!! Saludos.

    • Berdasarkan penelitian itu, terlihat bahwa kecanduan Facebook lebih banyak terjadi pada para pemuda, dibandingkan dengan yang sudah berusia dewasa. Mereka juga mendapatkan bahwa orang-orang yang gelisah dan tidak memiliki posisi sosial yang tetap berkecenderungan untuk selalu menggunakan Facebook. Studi yang melibatkan 423 mahasiswa (227 perempuan dan 196 lelaki) ini juga memperlihatkan bahwa perempuan memiliki risiko lebih tinggi dalam hal kecanduan ini.

    • On l’a vu également pendant les JO de Londres où Google présentait les résultats des épreuves, les calendriers, les médailles, que ce soit en tapant une requête d’un sportif ou un sport particulier.Ça a dû faire très mal aux sites de résultats sportifs pendant cette période. Il faut faire attention car ils sont en train de tuer une partie du web…

    • Answer:If a tree fell in space, would it make any sound?Would it make any sense?Yes, unless you’re stupid enough and not understand the meaning behind such an amazing movie!

    • Vet du vad: Vi har sÃ¥ bra klädsmak DÃ¥ fÃ¥r du se till att skicka in en snajsig bild till readers of the month. KRAM! Ã… förresten handtvätt kan ju helt klart vara värt det.

    • Vous m’avez dégouté. A la fin de mon engagement, je pars chez B&You. Chez SFR, on paie cher mais les services ne sont pas à la hauteur.

    • That is an AMAZING fascinator Miss Tess! You look like you have a super fun job! I love my job too… it’s nice to be able to follow your heart and do creative work!

    • Sourc&#101:Change &#87&#105thout Pa&#105n NLP Sto&#114y; Ne&#119 &#82e&#119a&#114&#100s P&#114og&#114am Me…

    • dit : Ah, je ne savais pas pour les aphtes, merci beaucoup, ça pourra servir à MrChéri et Mamzelle qui en ont régulièrement ! (oui, je n’irai plus le voir, ce c*n !!)

    • Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of Services | Miracle Workers Cleaning . Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.

    • You have lots of great support in these comments, but I just wanted to add thanks for giving me my morning laugh. Why is it so hard to figure a way to live live in moderation? But for just a moment there that dilemma became so tellingly amusing. Wonderful!

    • Hi maggs.Prez Zuma was never asked to ‘hand over the tapes’ as you put it. That is a conjecture all of your own. As I understand it is about transcripts of parts of the tapes.Hopes that clarifies things a bit.

    • Pai imi zice k is proasta ma trimete in chi…le spune la baietzi sa se rida de mine doar special ca sa ma faca sa ma simt rau.De aceia as vrea sai spun si eu niste cuvinte ca sal fak si eu sa se simta rau.Sugereazami vreo idee.Te rog

    • 17 novembre 2010Olympe : Les blogs de femme ont une tendance à se sentir mépriser aussi. Tu as peut-être lu le billet, j’y critique un blog d’agence. Ce n’est pas un blog de femme. Tu vois.

    • Just out of coincidence I tried to visit via phone today, front page looks good, my issue was that I tried to sign into the main forums and it was taking me 20+ seconds to type a letter in because it was locking up. It appears to be working fine now though, very strange.VN:F [1.9.21_1169](from 0 votes)

    • poďme vaÅ¡i vÄ›tu otočit: Žádný důkaz pro existenci boha není. Je to snad důkaz, že bůh existuje?Není. A také by to Å¡lo takto: Žádný důkaz pro neexistenci Boha není. Je to snad důkaz, že Bůh existuje? I tady je odpověď – není. Myslím, že jsme si fifty – fifty

    • That's interesting! An ex boyfriend of mine has lied all his life and thinks he's expert BUT he licks his lips and let's out a small laugh each time he's confronted! You can see why he's ex!!

    • G’Day! Forecaster,Thanks for your thoughts, NASA has officially confirmed that for the next few years we will see a huge increase in solar storms directly from the Sun. These solar winds should start this year, and last well into the year 2012. What are the five possible effects of a solar storm?I’ll be back to read more next time

    • Lieber Ralf, wie du (und die anderen da draussen vermutlich auch) weisst, trifft deine Liste fast genauso auf mich zu. Vor allem mein Blog sorgt f?r pers?nliche Kommunikation, weil mich st?ndig Leute fragen, wann ich denn endlich aml wieder was schreibe. Jaja, tolle Sache so ein Blog.

    • Another excellent post! Oh, yes, these are such true statements about how weariness comes! Been there and the best thing for me was just to read exactly what you’ve shared from Scripture. I needed to learn to be still and know that He is God. Still get weary at times!

    • Dear MarciaI have just finished reading your book Life (which I have to confess I have had for a couple of years).It was just perfect for me to read right now and has helped me put my life into perspective. Thank you VERY much for the advice you share.Regards, Karen (ex novocastrian!)

    • Angie, the macarons look great. I have seen so many varieties since beginning to read food blogs. I really like them! I still do not have the courage to make them myself. 🙂

    • WOW & Oh my goodness!!!! Thank you sooo much for featuring my snowman card. This is incredibly humbling and truly a huge honor!!!!! Im a loyal fan of your site and fabulous talent here, so this means a great deal! 🙂 Thanks again for the wonderful recognition & for your Team's never ending inspiration! {HUGS}, America:)

    • Po 1,5 tygodniu ćwiczeÅ„, wykonujÄ™ ćwiczenie 15 minut i staram siÄ™ dobić do 20. Raz jest lepiej raz gorzej, w ciÄ…gu dnia robiÄ™ sobie krótkie sesje, wieczorem dÅ‚ugÄ…. Niesamowite jest to, że ja osoba której wiecznie zimno, zimnymi dÅ‚oÅ„mi i stopami, tak po 10 minutach ćwiczenia moje ciaÅ‚o caÅ‚e robi siÄ™ ciepÅ‚e, dÅ‚onie i w późniejszym stadium stopy również…niesamowite.

    • Naughty Dog: Lets put Uncharted 1 and Dead Space 3 in our game bundler and see what will happen…..*Dead Space 4 Pops Out*Naughty Dog: We were hoping for Uncharted: Space………….

    • It’s interesting that Frankenstein is the product of a dare…and one involving Lord Byron! I had absolutely no idea, but it makes me want to read Frankenstein for the first time. I just downloaded it from Google Books, so I can read it before I attempt This Dark Endeavor. Thanks for the awesome info!

    • That is a smart blog. I mean it. You’ve got a whole lot information about this problem, and for that reason much enthusiasm. Additionally you have learned to make people rally behind it, of course from the answers.

    • I hate Edu and his? strategy with Eva Longoria. Edu ‘s got a job of singer thanks to his connections with Penelope, like Monica. Salma and Penelope: BANDIDAS/REVENGERS. Vanessa and Angelina Jolie are proud whores. But not Lindsay Lohan, Olsen sisters. Vanessa is an immature, selfish, being pregnant for catch him with a son(Unhappy). JOHNNY WILL BE HAPPY WITH PENELOPE, HIS PEARL, HIS FREEDOM, HIS TRUE LOVE. I guess Johnny prefers to do the film Inamorata with Penelope instead of the suicide.

    • inteleg perfect… si dorinta, si prioritatile schimbate pe parcurs, chiar daca diferite, … si stresul expunerii kilogramelor acumulate. La anul e an de mare, nu? Felicitari pentru iesiri. Piticele sunt tare dulci in colacelele lor.

    • Yeah Frank,If Tiger was out there mugging and stabbin, you wouldn't be tryin to make him an Indian, would you?Hmmm "Magic Johnson's Disease"?You mean the same pestilence that took out Freddie Mercury, Rock Hudson, Anthony Perkins, Robert Reed and Rudolph Nureyev?


    • Soho is such a fantastic place – it changes so much all the time so there’s always something new to find. Happy New Year to you too, Mette. See you on the 25th?Helena xx

    • I’ve been stuck on chapter 11 for about 4 weeks now, don’t feel bad. Of cosure, to try and compensate, I started a short story and I feel even worse because now I have TWO things not done!

    • Hey there are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  13. fiona blackie

    Andy and Gemma,

    I can’t begin to say how sorry and shocked I am. I can’t begin to imagine what you have all been through. Andy, your words and strenght continue to be inspirational and have actually helped me tonnes.

    I am absolotuely gutted and just hope I will stop crying at some point.

    My sister (who you guys met breifly at the clinic) just found out and told Mike who has just broken the news to me gently.

    Beautiful Jenny, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as I am sure will be the case of everyone at the clinic. Jenny is and will continue to be such an inspiration to me and I loved every moment I spent with her.

    Mike is gutted and will be in touch.


  14. Jo

    Andy, your strength and courage amaze me. I can’t even begin to imagine what your thoughts and feelings are right now.
    I’m so glad that you’re able to continue writing this blog and keep us all informed of everything.
    I’m glad our Jen is home and looking lovely and glad that you are getting comfort from her being there.
    You have got so much support around you which you are definitely going to need over the coming months.
    You, Cath & Gem have yet again been an inspiration to us all and I’m very proud to know you all.
    I will see you and our Jen on sat.
    Lots of love

  15. Gail

    Have just got home from a shift from hell and this post as others have in the past, brings me right back down to planet earth Andy. Ive followed yours and Jen’s journey since we met not so long ago as you know always Keeping the Faith for both you and Jen and your families x They never ever cease to humble and inspire me. I do understand exactly what you mean about the feeling of comfort having Jen home and she’ll be just as pleased to be there with here nearest and dearest who she fought so hard to stay with. You are a beautiful family and together again so its natural to feel the way you do, bet her little babies are made up too xxxxx Thinking of you all xxxxxx

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