Day 59 – 13th February 2012

Today started too early for me as it was around 4am when I finally managed to get off to sleep last night, with Jenny struggling through the night needing quite a bit of pain relief.  We had seen Dr. Herzog and Dr Wright around 11.15pm last night and discussed our options for the next few days with regards to pain management and we discussed whether we needed to consider re-introducing the IV morphine pump.  It was decided to give it another 24 hours before making a decision.  This morning there was some confusion with Jenny’s oral medication which caused us some issues as she didn’t get it on time for a variety of reasons which I’m yet to get to the bottom of and frankly haven’t got the time to try – it was just annoying, especially considering the issues Jenny was having.  Once washed and settled, Jenny spent most of the day asleep, which is always a good sign for the next few days – the body tends to sleep when it needs to.

Dr Herzog & Dr Rosalis came to see Jenny late morning and spoke with me as she was asleep at the time.  It was clear to both of them that Jenny was struggling with the current pain management regime.  I’ve always had concerns about returning to the syringe driver as it has implications back home.  However, Dr. Rosalis suggested that we may consider opting for a small pump back in the UK which can be changed every 3-4 days, meaning Jenny could be at home rather than require daily nursing care in Marie Curie.  It is important to both of us that we return back to our home when we land back in the UK, and all the organising we will do will centre around this.

Fast forward to this evening and it was clear that Jenny was struggling again.  The idea of oral medication allows independence and freedom for her, but this seems a bit insignificant if she is bed-bound 24 hours a day.  10 days ago she was out on her scooter and eating a meal in the local hotel and today she can’t really move very much and only seems to be out of pain when asleep.  We sat down and I suggested it may be time to go back to the syringe driver and also discussed Dr. Rosalis’ suggestion with Jenny.  I could see by the look in her eyes that she agreed.  She had given it a good go with 7 days of oral medication, which whilst semi-effective just wasn’t cutting the mustard and therefore the decision was made to return to the IV pump this evening.  She was on the limit and this was the right decision.

Lance Armstrong was once quoted as saying “If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell.”  We all know which one Jenny has chosen in the past, continues to choose now and will always choose in the future.

Skype is proving an invaluable tool over here and I often keep in touch with family and friends.  It can make a huge difference seeing people, as well as talking to them, and with wi-fi etc it’s pretty easy.  Last night I spoke with my Sister-in-Law, Georgina and the kids, Daisy & Jamie who are home from boarding school for half-term.  My brother is away with work this week and I believe he is planning on visiting the clinic in the next few weeks if we are still here.  I also managed to catch up with Jenny’s friend Sue King in London this morning.  I’m hoping she will be able to make it over at some point soon as well.  I’ve spoken with Sue many times but have only met her once and we instantly hit it off.  She was a close friend of Jenny’s at school and beat cancer as a teenager.  She is an amazing character with a real wacky sense of fun and adventure and a hugely creative brain which gives her all the ideal ingredients to raise her 2 daughters Madison & Bayleigh full-time.  I always enjoy talking with Sue as we have a similar off-the-wall sense of humour which at times could possibly be described as “perverse” or maybe just plain weird.

Daisy, Georgina & Jamie Susan King

I was also feeling a little sore from my gym session with Alex yesterday and, as predicted, has gotten a bit worse through the course of the day – tomorrow will be a killer!  I had another massage from Rochelle at lunchtime and have booked in again for next Monday.  This afternoon I walked over to Nidda in the snow with Alex and Lisa (which included a short sharp hill run initiated by Alex) which we felt earned us a coffee in the market square.  I wanted to try to get a valentine’s card and gift for Jenny (14th tomorrow!)  We had a good laugh and I can see these 2 guys being my saviours over the next few weeks as they have no definitive leaving date, whilst our other close friends start to leave this week starting with Sylvia in the morning.  She popped in to see Jenny this evening as she is off early in the morning – we are going to miss her but she is due back in a months time so our paths are bound to cross again.

Jenny & Sylvia

In the information booklet provided by the clinic to patients there is a large heading on the first page which states “Every day lived with joy is of infinite value”.  Tonight it was time to put it into practice and take control back.  Tomorrow the fight back starts – bring it on!

Teamwork

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    • To fix the error on double vigneting I had to change the set! to let* as following:from:(if (= adv TRUE) ( begin (set! hvignette (car (gimp-layer-copy vignette 0))) (gimp-layer-set-opacity hvignette 80) (gimp-image-add-layer img hvignette -1) ) )to (if (= adv TRUE) ( begin (let* ((hvignette (car (gimp-layer-copy vignette 0)))) (gimp-layer-set-opacity hvignette 80) (gimp-image-add-layer img hvignette -1) ) ) )Nice filter, thanks!

    • Ciao Florea, non esistono corsi online. Per verificare quando e dove si svolgeranno i corsi, compreso le condizioni per accedere devi tenere d’occhio il sito del settore tecnico italiano.Una domanda, ma ti riferisci al corso di allentori UEFA B o al corso per allenatori dei portieri?

    • A lot of government advisers, charity directors and from may other sectors are demanding “urgent” and “fundamental” reform to care and home help services in England. However, there is another argument to leave the retirment age alone thereby releasing jobs for the million plus unemplyed youth – is it this simple – take youth off benefits and pay pensions instead?

    • Soon you will be getting beautiful treasures like dandelions and rocks and you have to keep every single one of them lest you hurt their little hearts. I have a friend that kept every rock her children gave her is a great big mayo jar!

    • here, and my the Almighty God forgive me for not using all available platforms to proclaim His Glory, and the Sacrifice of His Son that allows me back into full relationship with God. May God continue to bless you, my dear brother in Christ.

    • fındıkzade’deyım arabaların ustunde 1 cm kar var gene en az yagan yerlerden bırısı ÅŸu kutle ortaya gırer de ınsallah bogaz tarafı etkılenseSpanK, her sorunuzu cevapladığımız için mutlu oluyorsunuz, lütfen siz de Türkçe karakter kullanarak ve yazım kurallarına özen göstererek bizi mutlu edin. TeÅŸekkür ederiz. – Ozan

    • / Em nome de Deus cuidem com oq voces falam…. Ele podera se revoltar contra nos antes de 2012… Ja penso todos os sites teriam que mudar o fim do mundo para 2011!!!Amem….. Ate o Juizo Final..

    • The police in Finland recently started to censor the Internet by giving ISPs a blacklist of sites that allegedly contain child porn and other illegal things. It’s voluntary for the ISPs, which apparently means there’s zero legal oversight and the police can put anything they want on the list. I have been blocked four or five times while trying to access completely legal websites, and others have had similiar experiences.I’m sure they’ll start restricting access to “hate speech” sites soon.

    • Effectivement on c’est dit pareille pour celle qui joue mary-jane avec mon frère,c’est vrais qu’elle ne représente pas le personnage a sa juste valeur.sweeney2:Non tu ne confond pas la lol,sinon c’est comme moi pour the dark night j’aurais voulue revoir harvey dent,c’est bien dommage,un de mes persos favoris de l’univers batman.

    • L’usage de sur + nom de la ville est aussi déroutant que l’expression « a l’international » que l’on trouve dans toute bonne stratégie d’entreprise. Il me semble d’ailleurs que ces deux tournures sont apparues à la même époque.

    • what ever you say max, mijn wereld is vol grenzen. ik als moslim leef geen vrij banaal leven maar dat is de beproeving die ik moet doorstaan om een paradijs waardig te zijn. erkenning van die ene god… wanneer dat vuur vanbinnen eenmaal is ontstoken vormen juist de grenzen die hij voor me heeft opgelegd mijn vrijheid. alhadmoelilalla ieder se eige’ 😉

    • I¡¦ll immediately grab your rss as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please allow me realize in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

    • Tous, il me semble bien que depuis mon commentaire de 24 février à 19:49, j’ai parfaitement compris cette phrase. J’espérais simplement que quelqu’un me fasse l’analyse, comme à l’école, de la forme aller charmant ; ce n’est pas si simple puisque personne ne s’y risque. J’en suis d’autant plus dépité qu’il me semble qu’il y a plus ou moins 60 ans j’aurais su donner la réponse, à la plume et l’encre, avec des mots soulignés en rouge, sur un cahier pourvu des lignes ad hoc .

    • Like John Lawler, I see the “of” construction in my students’ writing all the time. It correlates very well with their reading habits: those who read frequently tend to use “have” because that’s what they’ve seen. Those who don’t try, as they do in many other circumstances, to sound it out; in so doing, they arrive at the most likely candidate, not the one that most closely approximates the sound.

    • 360 looks better to me in most of these pictures… However, when playing the betas, ps3 looked better in action on my tv.. now either this site is full of shit or i havent optimized my 360 settings.. the game looks crappy either way so who cares.. 360 is the best main stream game machine due to its ram.. But it has a terrible selection of unique titles other than shooters.. Very strange how a game like Last of Us just isnt possible on 360 yet these ports look better on itVN:R_U [1.9.17_1161](from 8 votes)

    • George Weinberg: I’m not sure what you mean by voluntary relationships, or why you think differences in wealth don’t lead to command-obey relationships. Pretty much all of us have voluntarily taken jobs in which we obey orders, due to the difference in wealth between us and our employers, no? People voluntarily enter contracts which place them in hierarchical structures like corporations all the time. Am I misunderstanding what you mean?What is the third alternative you are proposing to my false dichotomy?

    • – I wonder who it was who wrote…“From time to time, I get questions about what gear I’m using. Here’s a summary of what I answer : “Gear is not important. What matters is what you can do with what you’ve got. Ask yourself – will purchasing a 500$ frying pan make you a better cook ?”Just pulling your leg!

    • kent jacobsson skriver:Vari ligger konsten. Ett sÃ¥dant här fotomontage, kan i princip alla som har en dator glöra med ett PhotoShop-program.Finns det inga kriterier för vad som skall kallas konst.Den här ”konstnären” borde hamna i Fas 3.”Upprörd medborgare”

    • We are thankful that no one died in this car accident. Considering that it involved an SUV, a cyclist and a 50-foot drop into a construction zone, this could have been much worse. Unfortunately, hundreds of construction workers die every year. It is fortunate that this work zone was inactive at the time of the crash, as this accident demonstrates why hundreds of workers are killed every year. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 721 workers in the private construction sector died in 2011. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that 716 people died in construction zone traffic accidents in 2008.

    • Would love to have a little cabin like yours, except we want to use a compost toilet and hot water on demand. Love the screen porch We live in Louisiana and as you already know, this is a must in the south! lol

    • You, my friend, are gorgeous! Simply radiant. Don't stand next to me b/c it'll only give me a complex. Going to go do my ugly cry now. =](LOL & "real hair".)

    • Battlefield 3 (se tais olla) on jo isompi. 64 pelaajaa taitaa pc:llä olla maksimi määrä pelaajia.Mutta BF BC 2 oli kyllä hieno peli, itse tykkäsin (ja on vieläkin)

    • They do look VERY similar! I wanted Ever Hip but by the time I realized that, it was gone forever. (I'm not even gonna complain about the Blooming Lovely fiasco anymore lol) Hey at least I got Jazzed and I loves it! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the stuff and the card! I'm preparing my side of the swap, awww! Thanks so much again Muhsine, you're such a sweetheart! :)) XO!

    • Very cute little scene, Mandy. Love the little flower pot with spring flowers. Thanks for joining us at Craft a Scene for our Spring Flowers challenge. NancyD

    • I have a stock 07 1500 Chevy Ltz crew cab rolling on P275/55R20. I want to lower it to get rid of tire to fender gap but don’t want to change tire/rim size any idea on what lowering kit I need thanks

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  43. Laura Oakley

    Hi you two.
    Really feeling the ups and downs with you and soooo sorry Jenny that you are having to battle through so much pain. Jenny-Just go with the driver and try not to see this as a step back , it is a step in the right direction if you start to feel more alert and full of fight again. Andy you are so strong and I so admire your unwavering determination to guide Jenny through these challenges. Brilliant to hear you are getting a bit of respite with all your lovely friends and that you are being supported both in Germany and in England. I know everyone misses you but home is here the heart is and as long as you are together the fight will be strong.
    Sending big loves and hugs.
    Laura Oakley

  44. Rebecca

    Odds and percentages are all bunkum…except for the 100% hope, 100% faith and 100% strength of spirit which you two clearly have.

    Keep fighting, guys! Odds are there to be overturned.

    xxxxxxxxxx

  45. JUNE

    Andy, many thankyouuuuus for blogs and updates, your caring strength, love and courage is Jenny’s saviour.
    Jenny…always know that we are there, behind you all the way…KTF….feel the LOVE and know of our HOPE for you always.”FIGHT LIKE HELL” Warrior Princess!
    Your mind, body and spirit are strong, you take each day to rejuvenate and recharge. Draw from the deep well of peace and calm , deep breaths Jen, release those fears. Be strong and courageous in spite of everything.
    Each day you get strong, be assured by the strength of others who inspire you to fight on, especially Andrew your shield and defender…just like you Jen, He is “Simply the Best”….fight the good fight with all your might and “ROAR LOUDER THAN EVER”…
    Much love June Ron and Co…xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • I’m so glad that the inerentt allows free info like this!

    • Ola, tudo bem? Eu vi o seu comentário que já conheçeu a Albania,pode me dizer sobre o pais em minimos detalhes, eu não conheço mais sou apaixonada, infelismente muitas pessoas falam mau, mas gostaria de ouvir de pessoas inteligentes. E que não fala mau do pais por serem a maioria muçulmana. Um grande beijo

    • s/he would still change some elements of the book, even when it became a best seller.Maybe that’s the major trait that separates a “professional” or “serious” writer from the “casual” writer.And I stand by my comment to Kourtney’s post—my characters would kick me hard if I called their books my babies!

    • Jonathan,The experience put even more confirmation into how I feel that even the smallest effort is appreciated!Thank you for your comment & for sharing your experience on the subject as well.

    • A możesz zdradzić pokrótce co wedÅ‚ug Ciebie Kominek powiedziaÅ‚ :> ot tak żebym mógÅ‚ siÄ™ jakoÅ› spozycjonować z tym co usÅ‚yszaÅ‚em

    • Firefox 3.6.3 | Windows XPtergantung lokasinya juga sih, mas …ada beberapa daerah tertentu yang sinyal flash kembang kempis tuh, malah hilang sama sekali … :(Salam BURUNG HANTU

    • Endelig va du te’bake med nye fine bilde pÃ¥ bloggen din (har venta lenge no). Lilla e’ jo bare ein kjempe nydelig farge. Lika godt dei skono eg. Har lyst pÃ¥ ett par sjøl. Dei e jo bare kjempe go’e Ã¥ gÃ¥ i. Ha ein fine kveld.

    • I’m surprised (and a little relieved) that not more people have had this saw fail. Check my latest Video, or search for Sawvivor fail on youtube. The pin that holds the blade on the side opposite the red screw got loose, and won’t tighten the blade anymore. I think this is really a weak point of construction! I returned it and am getting a new one. I hope my next one will not fail.

    • Hi David, from what I’ve just read it looks like PHP isn’t processing the $_SERVER[‘DOCUMENT_ROOT’] properly. Have you tried accessing the gateway.php through your browser to see if that returns an error?

    • August 14, 2011 at 03:02Best wishes for a complete speedy recovery Bruno! Drop by the Tripawds Forums some time to share your story or for lots of recovery tips, advice and support from the community.PS: Thanks for sharing the link!

    • Caro Gil. Será que fizeste seu comentário num computador da era soviética gerenciado por “electron’s tubes” ou foi num moderno equipamento criado pelo “capitalismo perverso & selvagem”???? Em tempo, quando a ditadura cubana vai acabar com o “embargo” às liberdades individuais? Será que o “alfabetizado e saudável” povo cubano gosta de viver em “gaiola de ouro”?

    • Mas você perguntou isso a algum torcedor do Santos, do Inter, do Vasco ou do Fluminense ? Escreveu para algum blogueiro ( e tá cheio) torcedor desses times ? ´Duvido. . O que move seus pensamentos chama-se Corinthians.

    • Loving someone is nice. Loving someone taken is hard, though. I honestly would drive myself nuts too and thus I give you big hug. You could tell but that’s just as scary.The drawing is nice. Charcoal, right? I do like the hair for some reason but just can’t figure out why. Hmm…[]

    • The Absent Game…Among me and my husband we have owned a lot more MP3 gamers over time than I can count, which includes Sansas, iRivers, iPods (traditional & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players….

    • Hi! Someone in my Facebook group shared this sitewith us so I came to give it a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and willbe tweeting this to my followers! Outstanding blog and outstanding design.cold calling fear recently posted..

    • so tried it this morning. I was running late for school so I wasnt able to use hairspray (big mistake!). But I am really happy with the outcome. I hold a curl really well so it worked well. Thanks Gina!

    • Oh sure. Now you host a really, really cool competition to have a character named after you. Now that I’m not able to go to every signing! Figures, Barry. I’m gutted!

    • I have always wanted to check out Susur Lee’s restaurant! You are lucky! Looks like better weather than we’re having out on the Wet Coast! Happy Canada Day!

    • The deck is simply beautiful and I know that anyone would be incredibly proud to have it in their home.First, as others have mentioned, the use of color is amazing. They really grab me, and make me want to touch this deck and feel the colors and images.Second, I LOVE the theme. I have a Wiccan belief system and this is the first deck like this that I have seen that has resonated with me. Lastly, I really really want to use this deck. Your work is wonderful, thank you so much for doing what you do!

    • Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for your blog. You have some really good articles and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if interested. Regards!

    • Fantomzeit – Dunkelheit oder Leere im frühen Mittelalter? » Corvey im Spiegel : 16. Dezember : […] Auch unser Andreas Otte ist hier zu nennen: In wenigen Wochen erscheint die von ihm realisierte Neuausgabe des Klabes-Buches. …

    • I’m eating a cookie right now anyway so…I’d read it, I’d plug it. I’d hook you up with my wonderful trainer/kennel owner for sharing ideas. I’d give you pics of my dog. I’d shamelessly beg you for advice on how to get him to stop.peeing.in.my.bedroom.already. Ahem…other bloggers to ask about the other stuff, Mir comes to mind, so does troll-baby.

    • Jeg kan ikke fÃ¥ sagt hvor uenig jeg er med deg. Det er nÃ¥ dere faktisk skal stÃ¥ opp for hva dere tror pÃ¥. Vær sÃ¥ snill SV, vis litt baller da.Â

    • Having read this I thought it was really informative. I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this content together. I once again find myself personally spending a lot of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!

    • > Pierre LambertMerci beaucoup pour cette belle pensée, dont je défie quiconque de se gausser…> LamidPardon de vous avoir oublié comme initiateur de ce petit mais exquis cadavre euclidien et ferroviaire, frais et nostalgique à la fois, grâce au Lambertiste sus-nommé.Mon bon salut du matin.

    • A Jacaranda : non pas d’infos mais cela n’est pas impossible, tant de désinformation circule dans la région… Une question : qui sont vos collègues indiens et d’où tiennent-ils cette information ?

    • Ok thanks I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. All I had to do was go to market and update gmail it gave me stock ver. But it is better than nothing. This way I get the perks of the ROM and now I can see my email….

    • Mainstream is heavily controlled these days, if one wants to hear artist's raw political opinions they have to listen to strictly underground, which are the artists who truly speak against all the governments actions and who want a revolution and change in this country.<iframe width="560" height="315" src="; frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    • I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. cheers

    • These look so wonderful! We are hosting a cookie recipe swap linky party and I would love if you would share these. It is at swtboutique.blogspot.com if you would like to! Thanks so much.Steph

    • I’ve been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

  46. Jane

    You’ve both always fought like hell so why change the habit of a lifetime. Can’t wait to see you both either in Liverpool or Germany but either one it will be 2 weeks today!! . KTF yesterday today tomorrow and always. Lots of love xxxxxxxx

  47. Carolann

    Hey you two as usual the tears are flowing after reading the blog.There is no doubt about it ‘fight like hell’ as always. You are both such an inspiration and believe it or not its you two who are getting me through a lot at the moment I have so much admiration for you, the strength you both have is unbelievable,you are both my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night love you both lots keep strong and keep fighting xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    KEEP THE FAITH
    XXX

  48. Ann

    Hi you two,
    There is only ONE option continue to ‘fight like hell’. I’m sure that now the medication has been switched, Jen will start to improve and be able to build up her strength again.. The small pump available in the UK sounds like a good idea, it will give you both some independence once you come home. It was lovely to chat and see you last night, glad you managed to get out yesterday for a walk and run and even better to hear you are back in the gym, Alex and Lisa are going to be good for you.
    Hope today sees a big change in Jen, stay strong and keep fighting. All our love & kisses as always Mum, Dad & Girls xxxxx

  49. Claire Standish

    Hi Jen and Andy,

    Just to say are thinking about you as always; not a day goes by when we don’t chat about Jenny in our house. Everyday we read your blog Andy; it really is great that you keep us all informed like you do – many thanks. It is lovely to read about your friends over there in the clinic too and to learn about their individual journeys. I’m sure that you’ve met some absolutely incredible people over there.

    You both demonstrate strength and determination and truly are an inspiration to all of us! Stay strong, always remember that you may be there as a couple but you are always surrounded by the hearts of everyone over here who love and care for you both very much.

    All our love. Keep the faith always.
    Claire, Mark and Thomas xxxxxxxx

  50. Laura

    Hiya guys!
    I’v not left a message for a while, but that doesnt mean I’v not been reading the blog! I simply just dont know what to write 🙁
    You amaze me with your strength, may it long continue 🙂
    thinking of you each and every day KTF
    love laura & co xxx

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